When words are not enough

Dear readers!

Jeannette and I came back to Kiev a bit more than a week ago from a wonderful month in England where we did a four-week-seminar centered around Identity In Christ.

The key verse for the four weeks was Galatians 2:20 where Paul writes: "I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of Godwho loved me and gave himself for me". An exchange took place on the Cross. Christ died, I died with him, Christ gave me his life, and I gave him my life. Christ lives in me!
What a wonder!

We spend four weeks trying to unpack this wonder, well-knowing that it's only the revelation of God through the Holy Spirit that can make this truth come alive and become my reality.

I came to the seminar with many questions and much fear. I left the seminar with a new sense of hope, and a sense of hope that'll last because it's rooted in God and his never-changing word.

I can't really explain what happened in me during the seminar. I cried, I questioned, I celebrated, I thought, I rejoiced, I shared, I symphatized with the other participants, I grew! I guess I don't really want to explain too much at this point, it's something sacred between my Father in heaven and me.

But I have a new sense and a renewed faith that tells me that when the door is closed and I'm all alone with my thoughts I know that I know that I know that GOD LOVES ME JUST THE WAY I AM!!

You can't get a bigger revelation. God loves me just the way I am. Jesus' disciple John refers to himself as "the disciple Jesus loved". That was his identity. His identity wasn't in being an apostle, a teacher, a leader, a church father, or anything else. He was the one Jesus loved.

My identity is not in my performance, my achievements, my successes, my failures, my gifts - "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so" is the highest truth. And that's what I'll allow to be my identity. Christ in me the hope of glory!

I could say much more, but I won't. Many truths in my heart are new. They need time to grow and develop. I need time to rest in God and rest in what he has done for me and who he is in me. I want to embrace a road of brokenness, because that's where the ABUNDANT life that Jesus promised is! My dictionary tells me that broken(ness) means: having been fractured or damaged and no longer in one piece or in working order. That's who I am in front of God. I'm broken and not in working order. For many years I thought that I was in working order, but I just needed God to replace my batteries. But that's not the truth. I need God for everything. Psalm 40:17: "I am poor and needy, may the Lord think of me. You are my help and my deliverer". There are many tears on the road of brokenness, and few choose to go there. But Jesus says: "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted" (Matthew 5:3-4). I'm on a journey with God, and I don't know what's ahead of me, but it's okay. I will continue to surrender my felt right to be in control and let God be God and me be me!

There is hope! Lots of hope!

Praise God!
Torben