About communication and love

Communication
The creator of the universe is a communicator. God created the universe through communicating. He spoke, and it came to be the first book of the Bible, Genesis, tells us. More and more non-Christian scientists come to believe these days that there must have been an Intelligent Designer behind the creation of this planet. The myth of evolution that has ruled science the past many years since good, old Charles Darwin falls short again and again when scientists try to find out how it all started. But first of all, I’m not a scientist, and second of all the topic of creation is so large that I should probably save it for another blog (let me refer to Lee Strobel’s excellent book "The Case For Faith" where he interviews different experts who tackle some of the classic obstacles for people who reject Christianity).

He spoke
So back to the communication aspect. God communicated when he created the earth. God speaks each of us into being. God creates every day. Every sunset, every flower is a masterpiece that speaks to us about God’s creativity and love. The first chapter of the Gospel of John tells us about Jesus. John explains that Jesus is the Word. Jesus is God’s ultimate communication. Jesus communicates to us who God is. If you want to know how God is like you can look at nature, people, and history and see his fingerprints. But God’s primary revelation is Jesus. Look at Jesus, read about his life in the Gospels, ask him into your own life and you’ll experience the Best Communicator in the world communicating with you in just the right way. God doesn’t communicate with all of us in the same way. He knows us, he created each one of us, and he knows what communication- or learning style suits each of us best.

Communication is key in any relationship. There could be no relationship between my wife Jeannette and I if we didn’t communicate. Jesus communicates with his followers. John 10 talks about Jesus as the shepherd and his followers as his sheep, and Jesus said: “my sheep know my voice”. If you belong to Jesus, he speaks to you. If you never hear him, it’s probably because you’re not quiet enough or you don’t stop up enough to hear what he’s seeing, or it’s because you don’t have your eyes tuned in to see Jesus speaking to you through other people, through nature or through circumstances.

How do we communicate?
God is excellent at communication, but his followers aren’t necessarily models of excellent communication. Why is it so hard for so many people to communicate? Many churches fall apart due to something as simple as bad communication. Many friendships fall apart due to misunderstandings based on bad communication. Marriages fall apart because communication is lacking or because there is more yelling and screaming going on than sound communication.

Being a missionary in a foreign country obviously means being (far) away from friends and family. That’s life for all of us. That was life for the old heroes such as Paul, Peter, or David Livingston who went to Africa and many more throughout the close to 2000 years since Jesus gave his followers the Great Commission to go out into all the world and preach the Gospel about him.

There are multitudes of means of communication available these days. Old fashioned letters (remember those handwritten ones?), phone calls, text messages, e-mails, web-cameras, video conferences, instant messaging and chats, Skype (co-invented by a Dane, btw.), fax, etc. but ironically enough I don’t think we’re better communicators in 2006 than we were when I got my first e-mail address nine years ago or when my grandparents were young. Communication is difficult and it seems that it’s especially hard on those of us who live far away from what used to be our playground. “Ude af syne, ude af sind” an old Danish saying goes – “out of sight, out of mind” would be the English translation. And that seems to be the case for most of us. If we don’t see people on a regular basis it becomes very difficult to keep up good communication and relationships. Experienced missionaries tell me that their circle of friends get smaller and smaller until only the true, close friends are left in it. The rest gave up because they thought it too complicated to keep up good communication that would sustain the relationship and friendship.

“It’s the thought that counts” people say when they thought about getting something for somebody, but decided not to anyway. I’ve never understood that saying. In fact it has never warmed my heart to hear that somebody thought about doing something nice for me, but in the end decided that I wasn’t worth it – how can that be positive? And in the case of communication in a friendship the saying isn’t true either. An “I thought about sending you an e-mail, but then I thought about something else and I never got around to do it”-e-mail neither takes up any space in my inbox nor sustains a relationship.

Communication is like discipleship training it doesn’t just happen. We have to make the choice to make it happen. We have to show that we care enough about the other person to communicate with them. Many relationships end up on the ever-growing graveyard of Good Intentions. Good intentions that don’t turn out in good actions aren’t really worth anything.

Say it!
I’m from nature not particularly naïve. I doubt that my frustrations about communication will necessarily grow smaller. I hope that I can help God’s people to grow in communication skills. I hope that the students in the discipleship training school that I’m leading now will learn about good communication with each other and other friends. I hope that I can grow in communication myself. I want to become better at communicating and express more what I feel. We need to be better at encouraging each other and lift each other up. We need to tell each other what we see of God’s character in each other. We need to say it, e-mail it, fax it, Skype it, don’t just think it. Pray it and give thanks to the Giver of all Good Things, but say it to your friend as well. Why is it that it’s mainly at weddings, birthdays or deaths that we remember to say what we mean to each other?

God communicates, and God wants us to be better at communicating with him and with each other. In our DTS’s we try to work on both aspects. We want to grow in our communication skills with God, but we also want to be good communicators with each other.

Michael W. Smith "Give It Away":

"We can entertain compassion
For a world in need of care
But the road of good intentions
Doesnt lead to anywhere
'Cause love isn't love
'till you give it away
You gotta give it

There was a man who walked on water
He came to set the people free
He was the ultimate example
Of what love can truly be
Because his love was his life
And he gave it away
You gotta give it away"