FAQ about cheese......
Q: Why don’t you just make a FAQ where you answer all the questions regarding why you hate cheese and never eat it?
A: Here it is!
Q: How can you not like cheese?
A: It’s really not that difficult. It’s not wrong to not like cheese. Cheese is just one food product. It’s really not any stranger than not liking green beans or mustard. It is in fact in fairly few percentages of the world that cheese is something that “everybody” eats. Look at China, India and the rest of East Asia. No cheese. Look at all of Africa and South America very little cheese. And that’s something like maybe 70-80% of the world’s population that is not obsessed with cheese! And I’m okay being a minority in my part of the world.
Q: Did something happen when you were little that made you hate cheese?
A: Hmm.....boring answer: no. More interesting answer: there was in fact one incident where my brother Carsten, you can confirm the story with him (!), took a piece of bread with butter and cheese and a bread knife and tried to force me to eat the cheese. He was so tired of my sister and I talking about hating cheese, and I guess that drove him to desperate means of communication. Today Carsten is a more peaceful cheese-lover who has to live with the pain that his oldest son, Christian, doesn’t eat cheese either. Go Christian!!
Q: Have you always hated cheese?
A: Yes, Always. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t hate cheese. It’s been going on for a bit more than 29 years now. My parents used to say that it would change when I grew up. They gave up quite a few years ago.
Q: What is it you hate about cheese?
A: Everything. The texture. The smell. The look of it. The fact that it is a product that has come to be through a process of putrefaction which my dictionary suggests as a proper translation of the Danish forrådnelse. I feel physically bad when I see people eat cheese, especially when they seem to enjoy it. It makes me sick to my stomach. And Jeannette and I have a clear-cut rule that says that she has to eat a piece of chewing gum after she has tasted the forbidden fruit. For some reason she loves cheese:-(
Q: What about cheese on pizza or lasagna?
A: I’m completely orthodox, and I don’t eat cheese on pizza or lasagna either. And trust me: a pizza or lasagna without cheese is wonderful. In fact I dare you, dear reader, to try it and see for yourself. All of a sudden all the other yummy ingredients will taste of so much more when they’re not overwhelmed by the stinking and foul-tasting cheese. Trust me!
Q: Do you eat any kind of cheese?
A: Nope. None. Not even cream cheese or the like.
Q: Have you ever tried cheese?
A: There have been clever people who have tried to trick me into eating cheese. I recall a Norwegian mother who thought she was pretty brilliant when she put cheese in some rolls that I apparently liked. But other than these crimes towards humanity I haven’t eaten cheese with my knowledge.
Q: But how can you not like cheese when you’re from Denmark where they make such good cheese?
A: I’m happy that so many people spend their money on Danish cheese and support my home country that way, but I’m more than happy not to eat cheese products. I enjoy a whole range of other Danish products, so I don’t feel like a national traitor either.
Q: What do you do if you’re in somebody’s house and they serve food with cheese?
A: I do my best to avoid eating it. Obviously I can end up in some social contexts where it’s only appropriate to try to eat whatever is served, but in most homes it’s okay to say that you don’t eat cheese. These days we have people who don’t eat or are allergic to numerous things, so it’s normally not a big deal.
Q: Is your whole family cheese-haters?
A: My parents and my brother love cheese, but my sister is on my team. She doesn’t eat cheese either, and we enjoy being part of our little exclusive club:-)
Q: If you had to choose between killing your wife Jeannette and eating cheese what would you choose?
A: What an insane question. Obviously I would never hurt my wonderful wife, but still....eating cheese.......I’m not sure I could do it. I’m not sure I could swallow it.......Please....if you read this and are into torture and have plans of catching me....please consider another means of torture....:-(
Q: Will you ever start eating cheese?
A: No. I will not.
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8 comments:
hey Torben ... I still like cheese, but since being in Asia for such a long time I've become almost lactose intolerent, so I've had to cut back on all the dairy's even yoghurt which I love!!!
Oh thats another question for your FAQ? How can you like yoghurt when you don't like cheese?
I'm glad that I'm not the only person that does't like cheese! I never did like it and I never will either.
oh my gosh, I HATE CHEESE people.
I do not eat cheese, and never have, can't stand it, and glad I don't live in Wisconsin, sorry you people from states and countries who thrive by your cheeses, All I could think about was the awful smell and thick chunks of stuff.
I hate cheese ,my wife and 2 kids hate cheese. But they will eat Pizza and some mozzarella and macaroni and cheese.
i have no problem with cheese, but i loath milk. i really would like to stop eating all dairy though, because i find it weird. i mean, cow milk should be for baby cows.
I HATE CHEESE!
Was trying to search for a reason why do people like me hate cheese, and found your blog.
pretty interesting!
yack cheese!
This FAQ sounds like it was written up for me. I've never liked cheese. I can remember as early as 4 years old hating cheese. My parents also told me that I'll someday learn to like it so I tried a piece when I was ten years old and it was just as horrible as I remembered.
For some strange reason friends will often assume I hate milk as well but that couldn't be farther from the truth. I love milk, it's by far my favorite drink.
My favorite food happens to be pizza - without cheese.
john ;-)
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