Football, football, football...!!

Inspired by the ongoing World Cup in football in Germany(where Denmark sadly isn't playing:-(....), I've put down some thoughts about nations and football. Since football is the only real worldwide sport obviously the way nations work also show in the way they play the beautiful game. Here is a little information about selected football nations – and I’m sure you can see some of how the nations work in other spheres as well through these brief descriptions. I realize that some people could disagree with the descriptions given here, but that’s the beauty of football: it’s always up for debate! :-)

England: Working man’s nation. Filled with the confidence of a former world power. Honestly believes that they have been cheated from winning the World Cup ever since their only victory in 1966. Convinced that since they invented football they should win every time. Plays football like they play rugby. Hard work, fight, not a whole lot of technical skills, but a lot of energy. Classic player: Wayne Rooney – looks like any other British teenage boy. Nothing fancy about him. Young, attitude and character issues, not a high technical level, but he fights like a crazy person.

Norway: Very influenced by England. There is almost a greater love for British football in Norway than in England. Re-invented primitive, goal-oriented football in the 1990’s under Egil ‘Drillo’ Olsen’s leadership. Incredible nationalism drives the team. Classic player: Tore André Flo – tall target player. Named Flonaldo by the nationalistic, Norwegian press (comparing him with the Brazilian Ronaldo). No technical skills, but incredibly good with his head. Essential to Drillo’s style.

Sweden: Also very influenced by England. Plays a stringent 4-4-2. Plays like their big world-wide companies (IKEA, Volvo, and Ericsson). Effective, cool, not necessarily entertaining, but very efficient. Classic player: Henrik ‘Henke’ Larsson – very effective striker even in his older days. Cool and effective in front of the goal.

Denmark: Naive dreamers. Called the Brazilians of the North. Tries to play offensive, Brazilian-style football. Realistic expectations in the nations in terms of results. Important to play both entertaining and effective football. Always loses when faced with more cynical teams in World Cups and European Championships. Won the European Championship in 1992 when they played more cynical football and didn’t have their biggest technical star Michael Laudrup in the team...Classic player: Michael Laudrup – one of the best players of his generation and one of the biggest stars of Barcelona’s 90’s Dream Team. Excellent when his team was working well, invisible and disinterested when things don’t go well.

Holland: Pressure to play the Ajax-style football. Offensive football based on good and quick wingers and a cynical striker. Tries to entertain and pass the ball in a quick pace. Lost two World Cup finals in the 1970’s due to too naive football. Often experiencing problems because of personal conflicts within the team (and within the nation) between white and colored players (from Suriname mainly). Big egos come in the way of the success that the talent within the country would give. Classic player: Marco van Basten – incredible striker for A.C. Milan and Holland in the late 80’s and 90’s. Elegant and efficient, but not a strong player when the team was struggling.

Belgium: Plays like a factory. Cynical game based on aggressiveness and hard tackles. Tries to live up to big brother Holland’s results, but never comes close. The national team symbolizes the disunity in the nation where there are often conflicts between the different Belgian people groups. Classic player: Marc Wilmots – nick-named Kampfschwein (something like a fighting wild boar) by the fans of the German club, Schalke 04, he played for. Hard working fighter. Best with blood running from his face.

Germany: Play like their cars drive. No romantic ideas about football. Ordnung muss sein. It’s all about the result. Effective, reliable, controlled. Big egos in the team, but they submit to the team (which is why historically Germany always beat Holland). Big results based on organization and effectiveness. History shows that the more the big egos argue during the tournaments, the better the German team will do. Classic player: Lothar Matthäus – big talent, big ego, but submitted to the team’s interests he led Germany to the World Cup title in 1990. Arrogant on and outside the football pitch.

Italy: Dolce Gabbana team. It’s about the hair and the looks. More concerned about looking good and playing effective than entertaining. Always have technically strong and entertaining players, but in the national team they are forced into playing defensive, cynical, and result-based football. Have almost as many excuses for not doing well in the World Cup since 1982 as the English do. Classic player: Roberto Baggio – Italian icon. Buddhist, thinker, technically strong playmaker on club level for Juventus, but in the national team he never lived up to his level from his club performances. Missed the final penalty in the World Cup final 1994 and became one of the historical, tragic heroes of Italian (football) history.

France: Lots of attitude within the team. Huge belief in own abilities. Arrogant way of playing football. Quick, passing-style football. Beautiful when it works, but the arrogance can break the team (as shown in the last World Cup in 2002). Play like they own the world. Many different ethnic groups represented in the team. Classic player: Zinédine Zidane – led France to the World Cup title in 1998. A symbol of a nation of immigrants with his Algerian roots and his childhood in the suburbs of Marseilles. Excellent technical player. Arrogant, stylish and effective.

Spain: Big talents, big results for the club teams, beautiful football. Always playing incredibly well in the qualification campaigns and in friendly games, but lacks the cynicism to do well in the big tournaments. Relaxed, happy football. Siesta is important, not too hard-working. Always ends ups losing to more organized, cynical teams in the big tournaments. Spain has never won any big tournaments, and their best result remains a lost European Championship final in 1984. Classic player: Raúl González Blanco – star and icon for Real Madrid. Always performing well at club level, but despite being the biggest scoring national player in Spanish history, he never performs well in any World Cup or European Championship.

Argentina: Plays like Spain, but has the added cynicism. Many technical talents in the team, but play aggressive, fighting-based football. Known for hard tackles and attitude problems. The contrast to Brazil’s playful football. Have had many big stars that have been incredible, but they have all fallen at some point due to character issues. Arrogant and strong way of playing football. Classic player: Diego Armando Maradona – led Argentina to their last World Cup title in 1986 with incredible goals, cheating (his handball goal versus England) and mind-blowing technical tricks. Ended his international career in disgrace caught using doping during the World Cup in 1994. Has been through hell with drug abuse.

Brazil: Known for playful, Copacabana-style football. Joyful players with very high technical level. Only nation with 5 World Cup titles. Have struggled to perform well in World Cups in the 1980’s and 1990’s, but came back, re-adjusted their playing style to be more effective, and won the World Cup in 1994, reached the final in 1998 and won the World Cup again in 2002. Incredible amount of talent in the nation. Everybody plays football all the time. Kids play barefoot whenever wherever and that forms the nation’s team. Can have problems when physical stronger teams force them to play on their conditions. Classic player: Ronaldinho – generally acknowledged as the best player in the world these days. High technical level, friendly and goofy smile. Good team player, but also an incredible individualist. Scores many incredible goals.

USA: Very new football nation. Not a specific way of playing. Don’t have a football culture as such, but play a mixture of different styles. Strong defensive players with charisma and playful attitudes. Classic player: Alexi Lalas – Entertaining cult figure with his big red hair. Played his guitar and sang his way into all football fans’ hearts during the World Cup in the USA in 1994.

African nations: Used to play playful, happy, naive football. Would charm the world the way Cameroon did in 1990 where they shocked the world by beating the reigning World Champions, Argentina, in the first game of the tournament and went on to the quarter final before they were eliminated. In the last 3 World Cups the African nations have had European coaches that have taught them to be less playful and more effective. It hasn’t helped in terms of results since no African team have done better than Cameroon in 1990. Plays like many European teams without too much flavor (Serbia, Switzerland, Austria, Ireland, etc.), since they tend to sacrifice their flavor of playing to try to be more effective. Classic player: Roger Milla – entertaining grandfather figure who at the age of 38 scored four goals in the World Cup in 1990 and became the player to invent the dance with the corner flag that is still practiced by many goal scorers 16 years after.